The Narcissist Believer
‘Can you imagine, I was passed over to lead the choir in our next ministration because I do not look right’, my young friend announced as she flopped on the seat in front of me. Confused, ‘Why’, I asked. In exasperation she told me, ‘my choir leader says I don’t look good’. Now, I was truly confused; because I was trying to understand what her looks has to do with her beautiful voice. ‘But you are not scruffy and you always present yourself well’, I ventured. ‘That’s just the problem’, she continued exasperatedly, ‘I am not beautiful enough to be put in front of the whole Church ministering, so says my choir leader. He says I need to work on the way I look if I truly want to lead’! This exchange is a familiar one because we live in a world that encourages and celebrates narcissist behaviors: A behavior that encourages too much interest in and admiration for one’s own looks and abilities. A terrible obsession to look and feel good which is now given as a prerequisite for having confidence in oneself in a world that is simply going mad. Books, seminars and all manner of things are used to encourage the man to take an undue interest in his physical appearance and abilities. Unfortunately, when we go into the social media space, people compete with each other on the number of ‘likes’ for their physical appearances and abilities even if these ‘likes’ do not translate to any physical benefit for the subjects! If there is an age that is obsessed with this, it is this one; all you have to do is look at the media, business, political and entertainment fora.
The sad part of all these is that, this terrible phenomenon has crept into the Church, with many pulpits encouraging their congregants to always look to their well-being in all they do. However, as a child of God, we must be on our guard not to buy into this culture. We have been called to follow and have the attitude and character of Christ. In fact to drive this point home, Jesus Christ said: “…If any person wills to come after Me, let him deny himself [disown himself, forget, lose sight of himself and his own interests, refuse and give up himself] and take up his cross daily and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also]” (Luke 9:23, AMP). Also: “Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). Friend, the word ‘conceit’ means to have an excessive pride in your own worth and goodness. If Christ is truly our example, He never turned anyone away because of the way they looked neither did He pride Himself in getting to where He got to based on His looks or abilities. In fact, what got Him to the cross and kept Him on it was LOVE! Do you know that if Christ were to have been walking in our midst in the flesh, people like the above choir master would have kept Him out of their pulpit and congregation because He is not ‘beautiful’? The Bible gives us a picture of how He looked: “He grew up before Him like a young plant and like a root out of dry ground, He had no form or splendor that we should look at Him, no appearance that we should desire Him” (Isaiah 53:2). Why then is the obsessive interest in our looks? Please don’t misunderstand me. I do not say we should not look good or feel good, but we should not be obsessed with it or it takes our attention away from the Creator to the created, thus, effectively becoming lovers of ‘themselves’ (2Timothy 3:2). May the Lord help us to take our eyes off the superficial and focus on what God is saying and seeing! Friend, you do not need the ‘likes’ of the world to know your worth. You are far much precious to God than all the wealth of the world. He showed this by leaving all to come down and save you and I. You are special, beautiful and precious in His sight and He loves you; don’t allow the enemy rob you of your confidence in God by the way you look! Walk and shine in the fullness of God’s love and the gifts you are blessed with. God bless you.